By Peregrino Brimah
As the hour draws nigh, as the westward winds expose the furo of the fowl, as impeachment beckons, her majesty invokes the ordinances: Thou shalt not insult my husband, for the lord put him there. Shall we likewise not insult Pharaoh, Herod, Midian and Eglon? Are we now to praise Hitler, Mao Zedong, Joseph Stalin and even our Abacha, Obasanjo and Babangida at home? Did the Lord not put these there too?
And shall we no longer say, Amen, to the scripture: Isaiah 9:4(contextual): The abuse of oppressors and cruelty of tyrants– all their whips and cudgels and curses– Is gone, done away with, a deliverance as surprising and sudden as Gideon’s old victory over Midian.
And who put Amaechi there who you tried to use 16>19 on? And who put Nyako there who you are trying to impeach? And who put Sanusi there who you fired unconstitutionally? Does this lord reside only in Otuoke? Is this lord who says we should not insult, perhaps a portable figurine, carved of wood, behind a curtain laced with cowries, sprinkles of blood and invoked by incantations, blood sacrifices, cash donations and shaking Shekere’s?
Oooh, we shiver! And dear Madam, what do you advise we do in consideration of this scripture: Proverbs 25:26: “Like a muddied spring or a polluted fountain is a righteous man who gives way before the wicked.” And the Hadith: “The best Jihad is a word of truth in the presence of a tyrant ruler.” (Abu Dawud and Tirmidhi)
Do we be muddied and polluted? Is this your advice to the children of Nigeria, mother? Is this what you told the little princesses who came by you yesterday? That they should bow to the wicked and be muddied and polluted?
We ask, #WhereIsOurMoney? Is the oil goddess still taking our $4 million every day from poor mothers around Nigeria, from Otuoke to Chibok, in the criminal kerosene subsidy scam? Is your husband still partnering with her in the misapplication of our billions? Is he still shielding her from our impotent senators?
Does this verse strike a note: Proverbs 29:24: “Whoso is partner with a thief hateth his own soul: he hearethcursing, and bewrayeth it not.” So shall we, broke, dying masses, partner with and praise a Commander in Thief? Is this your recommendation for the nation? To honor him as he honors thieves like Abacha?
Perhaps you can answer a question that has bugged Nigeria for nearly four years now. Why did he have no shoes? Was this for quiet sneaking in and out of homes through windows at night? And while we are at it, how did you become Permanent Secretary in Bayelsa? Chai! Chai! Chaiii! #DiaRISGODo!
NB: The children gave both letters to you for a reason; it was a portent, a sign from the innocent ones whose eyes see hidden truths. The two letters with you, the one addressed to Shekau, I believe you know that you should give that to your husband, and the one addressed to the President of Nigeria, send that to Sambisa, because for four years now, sheer evil and terror that black-lip Shekau embodies has ruled this nation.
Dr. Peregrino Brimah via email@example.com and Twitter: @EveryNigerian