By Adetunji Ayobrown
Of all world conventions, sex is the fairest because if with consents of the actors, all parties involved are beneficiaries. As nature meant to be, a kind of symbiosis arrangement between opposite genders, where all parties go home smiling. But if it was perhaps unfair to one of the parties, then what do call that? Use your big head and not your little head is the very first warning given to all young boys reaching adolescence age in order guide and guard them to know what to and not to do while relating with the opposite sex. With the news all over the airspace, sex for marks scandals in our universities across Africa and Nigeria in particular is no longer a joke and should not be taken as such. As it has become a daily news item in recent times is truly worrisome, not only as it affects women, the supposed victims but also, men the supposed perpetrators. Yes, I said supposed because only God knows what transpired between these actors. After all, some male and lecturers, I spoke with are of the opinion that the some ladies make themselves available in other to get some forms of favour or the other from the culprits, men. Of the allegations and harassments, so who is guilty? Considering the fact that aside from the effects, this act is not only absurd, it is also not cool to the male folks.
Some says when man gets an erection, he hardly thinks straight, because it is believed that blood rushes from the big head to ‘little head’ and the bigger head drop its defences abruptly or how else would you describe all this nonsense? When the little head is erected, some hardly can think straight, they become worked-up kind of. Perhaps maybe two percent or less of men may be involved in one way or the other, really this action is very unsettling. If you are a man, you should ordinarily know how to ask a woman of your status out with any string attached.
What is the name of such cold room in your university? Ask your lecturers, if such exit, find out. And how did it get to these, may like followed? The likes of Ransford Gyampo and Paul Kwame Butakor, two lecturers from the University of Ghana were caught on camera soliciting sex from supposed students. Now not on a different rhythm, that of University of Lagos too acted its own scripts. Lecturers were allegedly taking turns to have sex with female students in a staff club called the ‘Cold Room’, according to a BBC documentary. A lecturer touched her breasts while writing Bible verses, one of the students alleges in an explosive sex-for-grades documentary.
Professor Boniface Igbeneghu, a Senior Lecturer, Faculty of Arts; and a former Sub-Dean of the University of Lagos (Unilag), could be seen in the documentary trying to sexually harass a BBC reporter, who posed as a 17-year-old, while sharing tales of sex for grades with her.
But how do we advice an adult who is supposed to know better as in the case of these lecturers and professor? People who are supposed to teach their students not only academic aspects of works but also morals!
A BBC documentary has detailed a slide of sex-for-grades stories emanating from universities in Nigeria and Ghana through its ‘Africa Eye’ initiative. Why would a Pastor risk it all, just because of sex? To get the stories of sexual harassment out in the open, the BBC reporter Kiki Mordi and her team went undercover, speaking to lecturers and students in Nigeria and Ghana, while arming themselves with body or spy cameras.
I know myself pretty well, so do everyman and that is no gainsaying. Talking x-rated with any opposite sex or your student for that matter, from that day you know scandal is likely. Why pay for sex with your life since you know that if caught you may end up regretting your move the rest of your life? What for is the question that should be ringing in your head if you are truly sane.
Though, some aligned with the notion of ‘condemn not’. Who has never done such should cast the first stone may be the ring tones of their other gigolo colleagues. Soon he will realise the import after been slammed with a five years jail term. Five straight years behind bar is no joke my friend; not only his mind but also his eyes will see that the worse has indeed happened.
Some believe that calling a man a dog is like calling a man a man, ironically this untamed manner can be controlled or checked. However, if not properly checked can ruin not only the body but also a man’s entire soul. Alas, the aftermath effect for any offender is so much that I wondered why anyone would wilfully want to be involved in such, except if or when under some influences, evil spirit or spirit in the bottle, I mean influence of alcohol.
Any of the spirits involved or pushing and wrongly counselling him would have left him to his ordeal by now, while regrets in all shapes and sizes will be taking turns in his mind. When you have the opportunity of taking back the hand of the clock, an opportunity to have a repeat of the scenario, will you want to relive those events is my question to the randy lecturers? I must say that the professors and their victims will rather not to go through such day(s) again in their lifetimes. Indeed, it was a wrong turn for all.
They hate to admit it, some men’s emotions go haywire, if not why not do it with the right persons where there will be no issues if it is by mutual consent. This kind of irrational behaviour will only give emotional trauma to both parties but especially to some of the victims. What could be responsible is really mind bugging. Well, some submitted that it is this sex matter that was responsible for the fall of the first man and woman in the Garden of Eden. Yes, it was the evil spirit called the devil, Satan or whatever.
Besides the two balls, fear is the girl’s best friend, using force is not ideal for a respectable gentleman, talk more of an erudite scholar. It is absurd! There are things in life more important than money and fame, like friends and family, therefore they should have considered what such an act could do to them.
Dirt is flirty, who doesn’t know that? Lecturers, teachers and men generally should be carefully because the world is coming to an end that is one of the signs. Temptation is rife, but must we succumb to it? Even to marry another wife, beauty lady of course will never cost that much. Rags by nature are dirty, but beware of the beautiful devils is the simple message.
Some men don’t get things right the first time, my advice for these type is that before you can conquer the beast in you, one must understand the nature of the beast except you have prepared for the eventuality.
Maybe they are right, after all some are of the belief that an erected penis has no shame, and a man being a dog is like a man being a man, but we should not forget that even dogs can be trained. If you are a man with or in your own class getting your class in women should not be a problem. Then, it is apt to consider our character and different societal values.
However, today, what may be responsible may not necessarily be the evil spirit but bottled spirit or spirit in the bottle (anyway you may want to call it), as today looks like tomorrow to drunkards. Come to think of this, what difference will it make before and after for the actors except that their minds were toyed with by bad spirit which resides inside you or the evil likely after excessive consumption of alcohol in the bottle.
Adetunji Ayobrown is a Public Affairs Analyst.