By Wahab Rianat
Life of teenage and early youth stage is said to be fun. You get to hangout out with friends, date different men for money, for position and for sex. You tend to practice what others do by flirting with men at bars, clubs, hotels and even in beaches. You dress indecently and have tons of male friends that took you as a friend in public but give you hot romance in secret. You get introduced to different alcohols and gins, you learn to smoke, to club , to take hard drugs. You no longer respect the elders and even your parents. Many called it an interesting life but ladies, let’s ask ourselves, Is that how to live life?
It’s unfortunate to say that these type of ladies end up regretting and they always tried to cover up the stigma or the scars these past had caused them. Some would relocate to other countries, while some without options will end up committing suicide or go into depression to cover up the shame.
So ladies who are we trying to impress? Friends who never wanted the best for us, friends who wanted their friends lives to be ruined just like theirs or men who only wanted to enjoy temporary moments with us and trust me, men like that might give comments like “baby you are hot”, “you are sexy”, and seem to appreciate ladies with indecent dressings, ladies who smokes, drinks and visit clubs but trust me they know deep down in their hearts that these ladies do not have the qualities of a good housewife and they wouldn’t want such ladies to be their future wives and no mother in her right senses would allow his son marry a lady with tattoo drawn on her body, nose, lips, stomach and every part of the body pierced with earrings, a dress that shows her almost her full cleavage, or a lady who visits night clubs frequently.
Some parents contribute to the moral laxity of their female children. A scenario whereby a lady brings home weird friends with crazy outfits and introduced them to her mum and then she smiled and kept silent, such lady automatically would have the impression that her mum was satisfied with her friends and before the mother would realized the damage she had caused, the lady would have committed several abortions, sleep with men in hotels for money and even get addicted to drugs.
As a lady, you can be exceptional if you want to, and if you ask me how, I will tell you how. The way a lady fancy a smart ,rich and handsome guy, is the same way a man also admire an intelligent, smart, industrious and good-looking ladies. You don’t have to be a beautiful lady without brain because the two B’s work together. So you have to be a lady with beauty and brain. The formula B2 is what every lady should posses. So plus your beauty, you have to be a critical thinker, you must have analytical skills, technology friendly, and what have you. Getting a good grade from school, having a good job and been independent is the greatest achievement a woman could ever have, that way men will give you respect and trust me, a man and not just any man but a responsible man will approach you. Be the kind of a lady a man will look at and say “wow! that lady has the quality of a good wife”. A man who tells you are “ugly” just because you didn’t expose your boobs is only trying to degrade your self esteem. A lady should always appreciate herself, look into in the mirror and tell yourself “you are beautiful” and you don’t have to wait for a man to compliment you before you do. And who says you can’t slay without exposing sensitive part of your body, there are lot of women who dressed in clothes that are in vogue and yet they don’t expose their body. Revealing your body parts doesn’t make you beautiful, if you are ugly then you are damn ugly even if you expose the whole boobs or go nude.
A story to consider, a lady known as Zainab was raped by five men during her first year in the university. The story started when she had friends who changed her mindset about her lifestyle. She was no longer the lovely Fatimah that she was used to be, she wanted to feel among and enjoy her new friend’s company, she drinks alcohol, hang outs in clubs and so on. Trouble started when she decided to date men for money. Unknown to her, she was dating two cultists who were best friends and they never knew they were dating the same girl, as time will have it, they caught her tricks and abducted her. These men invited their friends to join in the feast as they raped her brutally. They rejected her in three hospitals and after she survived the accident,she had to relocate to another hostel because she couldn’t withstand the shame. Stories worst than this had happened and will still occur if measures to curb moral laxity is not adopted.
We all have duties to perform starting from the parents; monitor your children on the movies they watch, where they visit, know the kinds of friends they keep, study their lifestyles, , talk to them about sex related topics, teach them how to behave like a responsible woman to be.
Individual development; birds of a feather flocks together they say, choose positive people as your friends, create a circle of friends who derive joy in seeking knowledge, friends with great ambitions, with great future plans.
Educational systems should improve more on programs that would teach and orientate youth on the importance of good morals, and the disadvantages of adopting a bad lifestyle.
Government should create more educative programs, empowerment and scholarship programs to encourage the youth on studying well and as well as developing a good career in order to avoid them depending on men for money or to avoid giving the men chance to exploit them and use them to their advantage.
I suggest the movies, music industries and the internet sites which promote pornographic contents should be banned by the Government. Movie and music industries can no longer produce entertainment without the inclusion of a nude lady, or of people who drink alcohols and drugs, internet had been flooded with nude pictures either uploaded by the victims themselves or someone else. A situation whereby teenagers upload their nude pictures online to seduce men or to just for the fun of it and all these cause 80% spread and growth of moral laxity in Nigeria.
Wahab Rianat is a Public Affairs Analyst.